I haven’t embarrassed myself like that in a long time…
My recent move had me searching for a new massage therapist closer to home. On the invitation of my stepmom, we checked out the nearby Massage Envy. I made an appointment for a deep tissue massage. When asked if I wanted a male or female therapist, I chose as I always do – I chose a man.
I have no qualms with being rubbed down by a male masseur. They generally have bigger hands, meaning they have more surface area with which to reach more muscles. Men also are generally bigger and more muscular than their female counterparts, and lend themselves to a more intensive, deeper pressure. Though I’m housed in a little body, my muscles have learned the art of petrification. I need a serious deep tissue to feel like I accomplished anything in my session.
On the day of my appointment, I came in hoping I wouldn’t be disappointed with my massage. Some masseurs look and say they’re great at what they do. More often than not, I walk away wishing I had saved my money. But the moment the masseur worked his magic on my jaw, breaking down years of tension and stress, I knew I had found my guy.
Halfway through the session, I began chatting away about how stress wreaks havoc on my shoulders and neck. The therapist listened intently and educated me about various muscle groups. Our conversation was light and enjoyable, and I felt comfortable to the utmost degree. My massage had cast me into a euphoric cloud and words just started to slip out. Everything was perfect. That is until…
“I want to give my clients the best session possible,” claimed Mr. Massage. “I do my best to know what I’m talking about, so I learn as much as I can about how muscles are connected and what I can do to help people feel better. I get pretty anal about knowing all this stuff.”
Just as therapist began massaging my lower back, I blurted out in response, “Oh! I can appreciate anal!”
I wanted to sink into the table, never to return. But alas, the table was cruel and unkind and did not grant me my desperate wish. Instead, we laughed every bit of awkwardness away, and I ended my session with two treasures – the best massage I’ve had in a loooooong time and my most embarrassing moment… EVER.